Breaking the Frustrating Cycle of Repetitive Housework
Make Your Unseen Efforts Visible and Celebrate Your Unpaid Work
On the weekend, I got jealous of my husband.
Not because of another woman, but because of the jobs he got to do. He did renovations while I did the housework.
The frustrating thing about chores is that most results evaporate before the sun has set.
The job is never done, and we still underestimate how much there is to do.
Ironically, the better we get at keeping up with the endless pile of unpaid work, the more invisible our efforts become. The daily upkeep of a home is unseen, underestimated, and often underappreciated.
When my husband paints a door or installs a cabinet, the fruits of his labour are visible for years, or decades to come.
When I pay the bills, clear the drain, wash the dishes, or take out the rubbish, it sometimes feels like brushing my teeth while eating candy.
I’m simply reacting to the demands of my environment.
There is no perceived economic return for unpaid work, and so it isn’t truly valued and is often seen as optional.
Many tasks around the home are Sisyphean in nature; they feel pointless, like rolling a boulder up a hill just to watch it topple down again.
Some qualify as ‘meditation by work of the hands.’
Others are rushed, noisy, and laced with attention-splitting multitasking. For those, we’re left with only one option: framing the unrewarding task as dutiful service to others.
Trouble comes when this sense of duty is exploited for too long, and the inner call for support and intrinsic rewards becomes too loud to ignore.
What, then, are our options?
We all know what happens when we ask for something we won't get.
Frustration.
Feelings of helplessness. Possibly resentment.
Thus, I’ve been wondering and asking around - is there a better way?
Here’s an idea:
Crunch Days
A whole day dedicated to breaking the cycle of ‘just keeping up,’ followed by a celebration of the kind you love. A collaborative spring clean with a reward. A chores ‘sprint’ that involves everybody who cares.
The concept isn’t new; it’s been around forever. What is new, however, is the breakdown of community, increased isolation, and the nuclear family dynamic where both parents work.
So, you may need to get creative if you want others to join your housework sprint day. They might not care as much as you do because they don’t feel the pain. But remember, it doesn’t have to be your family. You may have friends who relate more easily and can team up with you.
Alternatively, you could ask your family to support you in other ways while you tackle tasks on your own. Even solo, there is value in doing the sprint.
Use my Crunch Days checklist to make the full scope of work visible, build a business case for yourself, or inspire others to join you with a healthy dose of excitement.
When planning your day, focus on two things:
Put in enough effort to create a noticeable before-and-after effect.
Make enough progress to shift out of reactive mode.
You want to be able to say, ‘This looks so great, I don’t even recognize this place.’
Some friends put their homes up for sale, but after fixing them up for viewings, they realized they loved their homes again.
Why wait to sell? Why not enjoy your space now?
Why Crunch Days work:
Hidden tasks become visible.
The effect is big enough to be noticeable.
Everybody becomes aware of the effort that goes into routine upkeep.
Everybody gets to enjoy a well-kept home, even if just for a moment.
If others contribute, housework is no longer associated with isolation.
Unsurmountable tasks become manageable, taking pressure off the everyday.
As for the celebration, it doesn’t have to be a party. Some Extroverts may enjoy inviting friends over to show off their results, others may get their favourite meal, a massage or relax with a treat.
The key is to acknowledge the efforts with the same respect that we would apply to paid work: to stop in a good place and with positive reinforcement.
Crunch Days should do three things:
Make your work visible to you and others
Take the pressure off your weekends, freeing up time and headspace for the finer things in life, without the stress of unfinished life admin
Allow you to see your home and daily life in a new and refreshed light
Stop in a good place to provide positive reinforcement. Crunch Days are not a one-off, so the goal should be to keep them manageable.
If there is too much to do, break things up into different themes, such as:
Spring Cleaning
Life Admin
Decluttering
Maintenance
Feel free to use my print-out as a starting point.
I hope you get to really make a dent and disrupt the steady stream of daily tasks.
Little by little, you'll spend less time reacting to the demands of your environment and more time designing your days.
Related reading:
Why Being a Good Parent and Homemaker Is Harder than Most Jobs
Do you ever feel the need to escape to the office to recharge?
I hear you! The problem with our current culture is that we glorify the visible. Even though the magic lies in the invisible. Housework and especially caregiving are highly underrated - how did it become so and how do we shift the perception?